Cartel Aperture

Typify with time

its angle waves

gently we guard.

Gallery god

the actress wag

accurate tumble

elegant yarn

brief hiss

carbon

corrupt

Neutral with whispers

the bandage slide

stable we rest.

JP

2009

"There is no odor so bad as that which arises from goodness tainted."

--Henry David Thoreau

Reel to Real

Over the course of the last three months, my stress level has been its highest in years and its lowest in years. I now stand here cradling a stress level that I’m more comfortable with. Steady. Headphones have cemented themselves onto my ears, listening non-stop to an album that has yet to be released. I have studied the movement to each of these songs and have made decisions on the direction they will take. I now feel as if the songs are able to walk on their own. I continue the “listening sessions” for hours at a time (everyday) to make sure I’m not overlooking any problems. This is my child. I nurtured it for over a year and a half before inviting anyone in to help raise it. Now, my job is to mold it into a human experience that fuses the many into the one.

It is a beautiful journey to create. I often lay awake at night and try to remember life without these songs. Without the titles constantly in the forefront of my mind. I think about where I was in life moments before I sat with my pen and paper to create what will be our next release. So much has gone on since then that it usually keeps me up at night. Staring into the dark with my thoughts circling me like predators on prey. Maybe it’s excitement, but currently, it feels more like trepidation vowing to devour.

Songs are extremely fragile even after they have been recorded. A mix that doesn't quite fit can destroy the very thing we have struggled to create. I have to be overly attentive. I make sure to watch in all directions and attempt to protect these songs. I also must stay open to ideas that might help strengthen them. This process for a songwriter is an extremely lonely state of being. At least it is for me. You can have your trusted band mates and friends share opinions and give support but at the end of the day you are left all alone.

For the most part, my life has been made up of these moments. I have found my truest solace deep in the caverns of solitude. I have invested my physical and mental self into the manipulation of waves and language. I have become a social hermit behind the walls of sound and creativity until the moment that creation morphs itself into reality. Yes, we must all face uncertainty within life. The future is unknown until it is the present. Therefore, I shall approach it as if it were the past.


JP
2009



“Vision over visibility”
--Bono